HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOO! you're 25!

you can now rent a car cheaper. congratulations :)

 

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like a gum wrapper.

useless, torn,invisible

to the ground i fall.

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oh haikus for the soul. poignant, but like biting into a sour apple...

 

but Roscoe i miss you.

you were the greatest dog i've ever had the pleasure of owning.

you were the gloom to my sunny.

i just wished i couldve done more for you but i was selfish and i can't do anything to make it up to you.

roscoe you were my big boy.

everyone loved your friendliness, your perpetually sad face, your bursts of energy

your love for the sun

i wish you were back home with us but i know you're in a better place, chasing all those birds and dogs you so love

i wish you could come back and rest your head once more in my lap

when i think of you it saddens me that youre gone and i cry thinking about you

my parents loved you and told me that maybe it was meant to be

that the only way i could let go is if god wanted you

it better be true because you never did anything that would get you sent to hell lol

i miss your fat buttocks because thats what made me so happy.

i miss your snaking around the floor at everyones feet.

 

but most of all i miss telling you how much i love you and how much i care about you....

tomorrow is Vic's 25th birthday and we're going to OZ! too bad i have finals at the end of the week or i wouldve tried to make it as memorable :P pshh like he needs me anyway.

summer is around the corner and its breathing down everyone's neck. im kind of excited but not because i have to decide if im going to gohome next week...i hate not seeing my family and it isnt fair. its one of those tihngs i wish i could teleport. if only.

anyways, all i want to say is going with the flow with everything sometimes leaves you at a disadvantage because when you need to say something in your defense you already feel yourself going with the flow...just flowing right past the problem and it doesnt help at all.

*sigh*

I've regressed back to listening to emo bands, half-inspiring half-depressing. Also just to shut down and remember what is important to me, what inspires me, and why I'm so different. I've never thought being a socal girl can brand me so invisibly. That's what I attribute it to. It is hard to appreciate the leisure when there's so much to do, but its not even that hard. There's nothing up here that proves my point and it sucks being of a minority. That's what I am. But being both has balanced me , its just no one sees that. I'd be more specific but its not even the things in my life I shoul blame, bc I let it happen. Ugh. Idk I'm just a mixture of regrets and irritation. Anyways music has given me the nostalgic feelings of yesterday when my friends were there and I knew everything was okay cause I had everything I needed and care about.

Well my finals are coming up quick...i end at the beginning of finals week so halleluja BUT i have to stay cracking for the next seven days :( no play all work...IHAVE TO MAKE IT WORTH IT. Anyways this is a quickie to tell you that i have reunited with some old friends from the old days...

• death cab for cutie
• mae
• something corporate
• jack's mannequin
• weezer
• the rentals
• ozma
• copeland
• muse
• waking ashland
• simple plan
• dashboard confessional (i finally get the name >_<)

i know there's more and i'm still adding them to my imeem playlist...i seriously missed listening to all of them sexy voiced dorks :) i fuckin love this shit and i don't know why i stopped listening to them. it's funny because i had 3 of weezer's albums and i don't know what happened :(

update on school: i'm scared shitless of my finals and getting anything less than a c+

»so davis is getting up there on the thermometer almost reaching that 95 degrees mark at some point today. thank god Olson has cold drinking water or i'd be probably be dying of dehydration. anyways i bought a bag of miss vickie's jalapeno chips so i could force myself to drink water. i really dont understand my preference to ice cold water in a glass. i dont even like drinking ice water from a coffee cup really.

anyways it has been awhile that i've been on this mug. i might as well rehash this past couple of weeks

»house-hunting: we're still looking at houses in the elk grove area. i'm uncertain of my speech to my parents about my future plans with vic because seriously i understand that they want me to spend time with them and living up there would not facilitate that. i will be the first graduating from my family so i have to end with a bang - good job, good work experience, good recommendations - and all that jazz. I THINK my parent's want to know we're well off financially and dont lean on them too much or too much on vic cause obviously i'm an independent women. (psshh my credit sucks balls) i'm glad i'm graduating and trying to do something with my life and now that his parent's are helping us out holler.

»school: im not swamped with midterms and assignments thank god!! my UWP class is great for improving my technical writing. and i wish i took interpersonal communication as one of my first cmn classes. oh well.

»Sorority bizniz: busy as usual but not as bad as i'd think it would be if we had more planned. im excited because we are having a picnic next wedsneday :) picnic day was great - hard work :(

my end note: I'M GOING FREAKIN HOME FINALLY!!! but im a dumbass with money so im scrounging for gas money LOL

some projects i'd like to work on:

- canvas painting : some artwork i make myself that will look good in our new house :)

- future rush ideas - oh and website!

 

Happy Birthday to Pstar and Me! it's our one year birthday since we started out as  pledges 4.20.2008 :)

playlist:

1. Good Things - Rich Boy ft. Keri Hilson
2. Love Knocks you Down - Keri Hilson ft. kanye west & ne-yo
3. Receipt - Lil wayne
4. I'm at war - Sean Kingston ft. lil wayne
5. Kiss me thru the phone - Soulja boy ft. Sammie

FULL BLAST... prepare for allergy season!!!

Update on my life.

So we're still in the process of looking for places that vic's parents might submit an offer on, and i'm hoping that it'll be by the time we have to really move out and stuff. i'm just excited that i won't have to live where vic forgets his responsibilites. at the most we'll have hella room to ourselves and i can bring friends over and not be embarassed. except i don't know who would want to visit me LOL.

i need to get my FAFSA done, buy a dress for iris ball, buy a paddle, OMG im going to go broke and crazy!

by jodi picoult

Good read. It was hard to get into it at first (i think it seemed too ordinary) and then after pushing myself to read more (it started getting juicy after the character peter got my sympathy) i found that it was pretty good.

here's the synopsis from

"In this emotionally charged novel, Jodi Picoult delves beneath the surface of a small town to explore what it means to be different in our society.

In Sterling, New Hampshire, 17-year-old high school student Peter Houghton has endured years of verbal and physical abuse at the hands of classmates. His best friend, Josie Cormier, succumbed to peer pressure and now hangs out with the popular crowd that often instigates the harassment. One final incident of bullying sends Peter over the edge and leads him to commit an act of violence that forever changes the lives of Sterling’s residents.

Even those who were not inside the school that morning find their lives in an upheaval, including Alex Cormier. The superior court judge assigned to the Houghton case, Alex—whose daughter, Josie, witnessed the events that unfolded—must decide whether or not to step down. She’s torn between presiding over the biggest case of her career and knowing that doing so will cause an even wider chasm in her relationship with her emotionally fragile daughter. Josie, meanwhile, claims she can’t remember what happened in the last fatal minutes of Peter’s rampage. Or can she? And Peter’s parents, Lacy and Lewis Houghton, ceaselessly examine the past to see what they might have said or done to compel their son to such extremes. "

i was too lazy to make it brief. but yeah...if you're into it read it :)

So, I'm absolutely BORED out of my freakin mind...the only worthwhile things i did for this week do not even feel like they reap the benefit of being called worthwhile (except my excursion with trisha and ariel, i had fun)

i'm not one for regrets, but i sometimes wish i did take gordon up on his offer for a ride to san diego. at least i could have rejuvenated and been to some degree mentally prepared for spring quarter. the main reason i stayed was so vic wouldn't miss me half as much and i'd get to spend time with him. i guess getting baked together and having dinner with eachother counts as spending time. i mean, i want 1+1 time, and have our own memories together...even valentine's is never just the two of us. i love everyone to death that we spend time with, but vic never sees it...where we don't have enough couple time...being in bed and watching movies is really the range of our 'dates' and the occasional dinner out.

all i really want is for him to be decisive. if we're not going to do something just tell me

i just feel ... lonely.

then this house is just closing in on me, with socks everywhere, and bits and pieces of trash that never make it into the garbage, and smelly rooms wafting into the kitchen and living room, where the smell of must permeates everything, the kitchen sink piling up with dishes, glasses with dried up milk or beer, mold growing on orange peels. cigarette butts loitered.

then i feel utterly...hopeless.

i wish i could be articulate in what im trying to say what's bothering me. im not gonna put it down here, because he'll prolly get upset and refute my feelings. to tell you the truth, i don't believe anymore.

 

anyways fuck this shit...im gonna go drink my brains out...

So i want to go camping this labor day weekend, BUT i can't decide which campground! So here are the contenders...(no value in which is first)

1. Arroyo Seco

Good Points: Water to play in, Dogs allowed. good evenly spaced camping areas.

1. Yosemite National Park

Wildlife? Ive never heard anything bad LOL, a lot of good hiking areas

1. Lake Berryessa

We had a sick ass secluded area to ourselves. Spigot to ourselves. good times remembered. the soul folk blasting "white girl" dedicated to the RVs AHA.

We're planning it now so we can figure out prices and how much to save. I got all this camping gear and nowhere to use it! I hope it works out with all this ahead planning.Thus i will be making an agenda in which to complete LOL.

»Besides that, getting a car is on my major want list, :( What kind of car do i desire? a Nissan 300zx, navy blue, with matching interior (black and navy blue), with a pitbull charm hangin off the back of my car. LOL me and my dreaming!! BUT if vic ends up buying me a ride, he said it's not gonna be in my color, it's gonna be like his :( reddish...i do admire the 300zx, 2 seater down the street, hella sexy.

with that said,

peace out

 

Playlist:

1. Jamie Foxx - Blame it
2. Work that, twerk that
3. Akon - Dont Matter
4. Beyonce - halo
5. random crap LOL