I seem to find myself writing here when i'm at some obstacle barring me from a smooth path.

today it is in the feeling of anxiety i have washing over me at moments when i think of the dilemmas i need to find solutions to. im starting to believe my patience is wearing thin.

what dilemmas? well as i've mentioned before we were supposed be moved into a permanent living situation - a house in sacramento. yet since the economy is a fickle machination, his parents were surprised by the uprise in price and are now offering like playing at the slots.

At this moment, we have no solid place when the lease on fountain circle ends - this gives us technically until weds or thurs to secure another situation and/or storage. BAH! I have also been slapped in the face with discourtesy on sunday when someone we were to meet and had set an appointment with bailed and didn't even have the decency to email us back and cancel the appointment. Really people?? is it so hard to end transactions properly or has our culture subverted so deeply that politeness and courtesy are figments of an imagination no longer a part of this contemporary present. This is the second time and makes me mark a point against the users of craigslist.

Im so disappointed because i feel like theres all these things happening and i'm alone again. I've been searching for places...but i feel like i should be going out (Except he doesn't think so)...and then theres work.

I worked at the bookstore last week and lapsed back into it like a routine. yet im only going to be a part of it as a rush cashier :( therefore a shift here or there is not going to be enough for anything (until the fall begins when i could hope for more hours.) Job hunting is such a chore that just online looking is exhausting, my hunt will have to expand to driving (im kinda trying to save my gas LOL)

and i sigh.

because i lie here and my mind is desiring an outlet -to scream to rant to cry...but i won't because those behaviors are so useless

all i want is something solid, something that i know is there and that im secure in...a place for the next few months, a house, my dogs, my parents...

not having a place is preventing me from going home this last part of the month,