It is eerie reading The Fountainhead. it encompasses almost all the fears and thoughts i have had about this generation we're living in ... is there really growth? will we always follow traditions that places norms on the way we see things?? can anyone move past what they've been taught and expand?  on the smaller scale i feel like that has happened to me and only the few who've i discussed it with would understand what im talking about...

what is this idea of tradition? the definition of tradition is "to pass things down"... but people take it so literally and ALWAYS follow it to the letter. that is what FRUSTRATES me. "Oh we've always done it this way." What an unlucky thought to cross my thoughts when i hear these seven words. IT doesn't HAVE to be that way, or any way for that matter.

In the book i'm reading, it brings me so much annoyance at people who have one ideal, one paradigm, one SUPERIOR belief. Where they believe there is no room for one who's mind is beyond what is considered normal and appropriate...their hope is for that budding mind to suffocate...

what i like about this book is that it reminds me of all the people of HISTORY who have become our traditions...Yet i don't understand why people fail to see that those who have become our traditions didn't have traditions to follow...SO why destroy a person's dream of being different after these traditions?? They might well become the new traditions...On the micro-level, I feel like i've been through that experience, but i just didn't have enough confidence to execute...BUT i do know now that i would never quit the way i did about something i can feel so strongly about, i should never have let those voices of traditions put me down.

TO me, what is most important about learning about the past is to LEARN FROM IT, TO EXPAND IT, TO INFLATE IT TO GREAT HEIGHTS, TO BE PASSIONATE, TO INFUSE PASSION AND MEANING IN EVERYTHING. it just feels like everyone around me has failed to achieve even the simplest thing as learning and expanding. save for a few, i have yet to meet all the intelligent minds i feel vibes from...

sometimes it's just too uncertain about what people really want out of life...they can't make up their own minds, they run in packs, they look like everyone else, they do things cause other people do them, and we are again stuck in the same predicament.

i know i have made plenty of mistakes and missteps over the past 2 years, but it isn't like i'm not learning from it and growing and LOOKING TO THE FUTURE...i want to be better, and achieve.

Just the other night, i had a dream where i changed clothes with some popular figure of some amount of fame, we were laughing and talking and all of sudden we switched places, i somehow slipped off my clothes and was magically in her dress....i felt pride and excitement at being presented but i realized that it wasn't me they cheered for...then i said to myself, "why would i want to be someone else when i'm just as capable as doing what someone else has done?" ...then there was some momentous feeling that i can't really describe after that revelation.

for the people out there who read this, if any, you probably occasionally think about making a change in the world. Be the change you wish to see in the world (regards to the famous individual who spawned this saying) BUT do not forget to move beyond the conventional...don't care about being outlandish, eccentric, strange, unique...your imagination can only run so wild, but the pure genius comes from merging those great thoughts and taming them without losing its spirit...

how do you think we have skyscrapers and hoover boats? someone dared to dream and didn't let anyone stop them...

pshh look at kanye west...someone probably said he'd turn out to be someone up to no good because he didn't attend college...look at him now...